Are you crazy?

Why give birth naturally? Are you crazy? I have gotten this response a lot lately. Its surprising and eye opening. I have now given birth twice. The first time with an epidural and the second time without any medical interventions. It wasn’t an easy decision. I must be honest, the moment that the nurse came to me while in labor and asked what my birth plan was…I paused. I had a chance to cave. I knew I wouldn’t be judged for it either. I was incredibly tempted at 6 cm to call this thing and get the epidural. But then I opted out and just looked at the nurse and said through near tears “no meds please”. She almost said “are you sure?”  I am glad she held back.

So how did I come to this decision? I knew after giving birth to my first that I would investigate this natural childbirth more in depth. I am one of those strange people who are interested in pushing the body to do what it is supposed to do and as women, we are created to give birth. I started my research by watching a documentary called “The Business of Being Born”. If you are pregnant now and interested in this process then I highly recommend this documentary. It gave me the confidence to believe that I COULD do this. If all of these women did it, then why couldn’t I? I wanted the raw experience because I will never be doing this again…so why not give it my best shot? After all, as a society aren’t we a little too quick to pop a pill when we feel any pain? I know I was. My husband just laughed when I told him I wanted to do this naturally. Then he realized I was serious. He knew my threshold for pain was very low. Well, that’s what I thought about myself anyway. I decided to challenge myself in a way I never have before. To make this body work like it is supposed to. It was one of the best MOST PAINFULLY FULFILLING decisions I have ever made.

As women, giving birth naturally can be one of the most emotional experiences we ever have. You are bringing a child into the world. Your body, for 9 months goes through an enormous upheaval and your comfort level decreases monthly. I am not one of those women who enjoys pregnancy. I will just get it out there. I would consider having another but the idea of pregnancy again makes me physically ill. It probably sounds at odds with the giving birth naturally. Aren’t you supposed to glow for 9 months? You are supposed to be serene, happy. Like an Earth Mother. You smile and only have to push once. Well, that’s not me. But I can’t complain about it. I am keenly aware that there are women who find out they can’t have children or struggle with infertility. They would trade places with me in a minute. So for that fact alone, I don’t talk about my disdain for pregnancy but for the purpose of this blog I am trying to give the whole picture and be honest about the experience. Even though I have these feelings about pregnancy, I can’t say that the end result isn’t worth it. It is. I am in love with my children. Now, back to the birth thing…I decided to use the 9 months to prepare for the idea of giving birth naturally. I looked at the positives and the negatives and the only negative that was in the “Natural” column was this: incredibly painful. If you think about it, that really isn’t a negative. It is just a decision you make based on how you deal with pain. When I was pregnant the first time, the epidural was a given. It is what you do these days. Most women choose it. You are in the majority if you get one. The thought of doing this naturally wasn’t on the table. I was so scared of the pain that I didn’t even want to consider doing the other. But isn’t that just like life: we don’t do what scares us the most for fear of the unknown? And why do it when you have the option of drugs?

With my second child I started to question all of this. I started to think about why we choose not to experience pain anymore. We don’t have to, right? If you have pain there is probably a pill for it. With my husbands battle for sobriety, I began to pay attention to the prescription pill addiction battle that is taking place right now in this country. Its not surprising to me that it has reached epidemic proportions.If the doctor prescribes it to you, then you should take it right? More and more we hear of celebrities dying from overdoses on prescription medications (usually pain killers are involved or the mixing of a sedative) and the numbers of women overdosing is surpassing that of men. I hear stories about moms taking Xanax, Klonopin, or Ativan to be better moms and how many stories of addiction start with “I went in for surgery on my back,knee etc and….”. My husband works at a mission for men with substance abuse problems and says that 1 out of every 3 men that comes in is addicted to some kind of prescribed medication. So why is this country in such a crisis with prescription drug addiction? I believe they are easily accessible and overly prescribed. I wont say that doctors all overprescribe but they are part of the problem. Some are becoming more diligent and regulating but at the tragic expense of many casualties that have lost the battle with addiciton. What scares me the most is that we are so afraid to feel pain that we don’t know how to get through life without a pill for whatever ails us. And for that matter, if the drug companies were in the business of making us well then they would, in effect, go out of business right? I am not saying all of this to point to a conspiracy but what I am alluding to is that we are ill equipping ourselves and our children on how NOT to deal with life. We have created an expectation that all must be good all of the time and if isn’t then there is a pill for that. The younger generations are not being told to deal with things. They are handed magic pills to help them study longer or not be sad or not have anxiety or pay attention better or get thinner. We are moving toward a society that won’t know how to deal with life in its raw form. It is a life without consequences for our choices. I am not an evolutionist but I do believe that we adapt. The tragedy is what we are adapting to.

SO am I really crazy for wanting to experience childbirth in its natural state? I chose this route to see if I could do it. To see if I could work through the pain. And I did it. It gave me incredible self confidence of what I can endure. The human body is an amazing thing. Our tolerance for pain (physically) is much more than what we give ourselves credit for. If we take away the highs and lows, the emotion, the sadness, the pure excitement and joy, the peaks and the valleys then we are missing out on the great human experience! Just this morning I heard Greg Laurie say to leverage your pain, don’t waste your pain (he was specifically talking about the pain of loss) and physical pain is a great analogy for mental pain. When we experience pain, both mental and physical, we learn to lean on God. C.S. Lewis said “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” There is no pill for our heart. There is only one prescription for our heart and that’s Jesus.

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– Entered into the world naturally on April 19, 2013-